Sometimes God Says Wait

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Sometimes God Says WaitI wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:6

I have a confession. I hate waiting! I always have. When I was a little girl, I would drive my mom crazy asking when Christmas was coming. I can still hear her say, “Stop wishing your life away.”

Now that I am older, I am even more impatient. Maybe it is because I have less life left? Now, I am not anxious for time to speed ahead. I am anxious for it to slow down so I can get more done in the time I have left.

MIT did a study that says the average person spends two years of their life in line. I think I have spent one of those years in line in one particular store. I am not naming any names, but I think I saw you there too. You may have seen me standing there appearing calm on the outside, but on the inside I was coming unglued. There I said it. Now you know. Or maybe you saw me coming unglued and you knew already.

I willingly admit I am a work in progress in so many areas. People say not to pray for patience because the way God answers that prayer is by allowing us to go through tough situations that build patience. I promise I have not prayed for patience, but my loving Father knows where I need help.

James 1: 2-4 says, Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Okay, case in point, I am still not joyful about my trials. Sometimes I have gone into them kicking and screaming and come out of them not much better. And, if there is a time that I am going to be lacking nothing, well, it’s not now. He’s still working on me. I am thankful He loves me that much.

I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait. —C.S. Lewis

Joseph waited 15 years. Abraham waited 25 years. Moses waited 40 years. Jesus waited 30 years. If God is making us wait, we are in good company.

Have you been waiting for an answer to a particular prayer? Don’t give up. Sometimes God says wait.

Please share your thoughts in comments below. Thank you for reading this post and sharing it.

Dear Lord: Thank You for loving us and answering prayer, whether the answer is Yes, No, or Wait. Please forgive me for not always accepting Your will as I should. Like the night watchmen of Psalm 130:6, we long for the dawn of Your grace in our lives. I lift up those who are reading this to You and praise You in advance for all You are going to do. Amen

Our Sword

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warrior 3

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:9

Earlier this year, two of my dear friends, Sandra and Amanda, led our ladies group at Blue Ridge View Baptist Church through Priscilla Shirer’s Bible Study: The Armor of God. If you have not been through this wonderful study of Ephesians 6:10-18, I highly recommend it. http://www.lifeway.com/Product/the-armor-of-God-bible-study-book-P005727075

The study reminded me of truths that I know well, but somehow I often seem to forget. While I live in a constant battle with an enemy that seeks to destroy me and all that I hold dear, I am not defenseless. While I am no match for Satan, he is no match for God. As God’s child, I can choose to take up His Armor daily and fight back.

Satan has had thousands of years to study us. We have not had that advantage. And though times have changed, the things that are important to us have not changed. Our relationships. Our spouses. Our children. Our hopes. Our dreams. Our resolve. He targets our minds. His weapons are his enticements and his lies. His motive is to turn us away from the path of God’s truth. The devil knows just how to bring us down. Or so he thinks.

God has other plans though and He does not want us to live our lives in spiritual defeat. He is just a prayer away all the time. His Armor includes lots of defensive pieces for us—the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of peace, the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation. There is one in the arsenal that is offensive, the Sword of the Spirit—the inspired, infallible Word of God. It is how we know God’s truth. And the truth shall make us free! Beth Moore says, “The Son of God saved my soul, and the Word of God saved my mind.” Boy, can I relate to that!

During the hardest times in my life, I have found comfort and strength to go on to fight one more day in the pages of my Bible. There are many scriptures to help us with spiritual warfare, but there are some that are especially dear to me that were given to me by a preacher quite a few years ago. I have read them over and over through some dark valleys in my life, and they have encouraged me more than I can say. I wanted to share them for someone who might need them today:

Philippians 1:6, Philippians 4:8, Psalm 23, Psalm 91, 1 Peter 5:8-11

Fight on! We are warriors and we don’t give up and we don’t back down!

If you have scriptures to encourage others in their battle, please share them in comments below. Thank you for reading and sharing my post.

Dear Lord: Thank you that You provide us with the tools to have spiritual victory over Satan. We praise You that we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus and that there is NOTHING that can separate us from Your love. Amen

 

Tooth 15

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Dentist

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27

I had put it off as long as I could. For the last year, my dentist had been watching a cavity under my crown get bigger. It was time to get tooth 15 fixed.

I sat there leaned back in the chair as the dentist explained how she was going to give me shots, make an impression, remove the crown, drill the old glue off, prepare the tooth, make a temporary crown, glue it back on and then chip the new glue off and drill the temporary crown until it fit properly.

Finally, sweetly she said, “I’m so sorry but there is going to be a lot of drilling and it is going to be really loud.” I chuckled, “It is okay. It could be worse. It sounds like a piece of cake compared to some of the stuff that I have been through.” With a surprised grin, she told me that she did not usually hear that from her patients.

No matter how hard life can be, the fact that I got out of bed this morning means things could be worse, much worse. If I look around, I can always see someone else who is worse off.  Like the saying goes, “I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.” Right?

Now, after a few days, my gums are irritated and it feels like an 18-wheeler is parked under tooth 15. But, hey, it is only a tooth so I can do this. I think.

Dear Lord, Please help me to always look to You for peace. Knowing that no matter what I face in life, there is nothing that I cannot do as long as I have Your help. Amen

 

Overcoming Health Stuff

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OvercomingLet us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises, He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth. (Hosea 6:3)

I’ve been through some health stuff. Chances are you have too or you are close to someone who has. I won’t pretend that mine is any worse than yours or anyone else’s. We all have crosses.

Helen Keller once said, “Although the world is full of suffering. It is full of overcoming it.” I love the hope we are promised in Romans 8:37.“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” No, we are not going to stand for suffering! No, we are not going to give into it! We will conquer with CHRIST’S HELP!

There is no question. The Lord was the One who got me through my emotional breakdown in 2002. He was the One who got me through my bouts with cancer and multiple surgeries in 2011. He is the One who gets me through every day now with chronic pain. He has helped me, not just to survive, but to overcome one day at a time.

During the most debilitating and discouraging times of my life, I have gathered nuggets of encouragement wherever I could find them. Some from the Bible. Some from websites. Some from my own experience and my talks with the Lord. I am no expert and there have often been times that I could not follow this advice to save my life. I am sharing these notes from my journal simply hoping that it might help one person who is at a low point with their health and who could use some encouragement today.

When you need to, slow down and watch. Let others do for themselves. Take care of you.

Practice acceptance. Healing sometimes takes awhile. What we resist, persists.

Let go and let God, let your family, and let your friends hold you.

Have a beginner’s mind. Learn what you can while you’re in this place. If you can, think of it as a gift.

Live more fully in the present, try to savor each day and appreciate all the little things more.

Find quiet. Feel God’s enveloping embrace in silence. Be still and know that He is God! (Psalm 46:10) Rest and heal.

Just breathe, expelling stress and pain. Feel the sharpness of pain and worry subside as relaxation and calm take their place.

Listen to music and let it carry you away from your pain. Just praise the LORD!!

Lift up your pain whether emotional or physical in prayer and then rest quietly with the comfort that your concerns are being tended to by One greater than yourself, and you do not have to take them back again.

Reflect on God’s nature, renewing your sense of being a part of His creation makes you feel less alone and more grateful for your life among His wonder.

Laugh more. God created it. It can be physically and spiritually healing.

Reach out to others. It always lifts me up when I lift someone else up.

Live in the Light. Combat darkness by bringing on light. Candles or a small lamp can help focus thoughts and bring comfort. Most importantly, remember the Lord is the Light of the World (John 8:12). Cling to Him and His promises to find the light of life again.

Take care of yourself. This will make you feel more in control over your circumstances and your attitude toward getting well. It helps us fight back against our pain.

Seek God. Greater is He that is within you than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4) Read God’s Word. Praise His Name. Pray to Him—even if it just means crying in His direction. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groans we cannot even express (Romans 8:26).

Believe in your own recovery. You will be well again! Never lose hope. It motivates and guides us through frustration into positive actions to make our lives better. With hope in Christ, all things are possible!

Have you been there? Are you there right now? If you can offer others encouragement today, please share in comments below. Thank you for sharing this post with others.

Let’s lift up and pray for the hurting today. Is there is someone God is putting on your heart to send a card to or call today? It might just make all the difference in their holding on to hope.

Dear Lord: I pray for those who are suffering from illness and hopelessness who are reading this post. Please touch them and bring healing to their bodies and encourage their hearts as only You can. We thank You that You have overcome the world and through You we can overcome too. Amen

What Breaks the Heart of God

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Jesus wept

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows … Isaiah 53:4

As most of you know, I lost my dad on January 27 of this year. Since that day, I  have cried about a million tears, both of joy and of sadness, sometimes all at the same time, and I know I am not done yet. After all, I am a Daddy’s Girl.

Although I am ecstatic to know that my dad is finally healed after many years of suffering, selfishly I admit that my heart is broken because he is no longer here with me. In my grief, I am greatly comforted to know that, not only is my Savior loving me and holding me through this, but He also understands my grief.

When Lazarus died, He was moved to tears for both Lazarus and his grieving sisters. Jesus was human in every way. He is God in every way.

John 11:33 says, “When Jesus saw her (Mary) weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled …” Then in verse 35, in one of the shortest and most poignant verses in the bible, the scripture continues, “Jesus wept.”

This story has an even deeper message of Jesus’ love for us. Earlier in the same chapter, Jesus tells His disciples that Lazarus’ sickness would not end in death and that it was for God’s glory.

It is easy to see that God was glorified when Jesus resurrected Lazarus from the dead. But we can’t miss that Jesus went on a suicide mission back to Judea to comfort Mary and Martha and to heal Lazarus. Jesus was crucified not long after. He took the risk to return, not only for the people there that day, but for us (future generations) so we would believe that He was the Son of God.

He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And like one from whom men hide their face, He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scouring we are healed … (Isaiah 53:3-5)

When we miss this precious gift, we miss it all. And that breaks the heart of God.

Thank you for sharing this post and your comments below.

Dear Lord: Thank You for Your promises to be near to the brokenhearted and that You save the crushed in spirit. Thank You that, through His life, Jesus showed us how to love. Through His death, He showed us how to live. Amen

 

A Tale of Two Trees

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Trees2

Faithfulness springs forth from the earth, and righteousness looks down from heaven. Psalm 85:11

When we bought our house 22 years ago, there was a huge locust tree in the front yard. While it was a beautiful tree, it was covered with long thorns that looked like 3-inch nails. And since I am a barefoot kind of girl and we were planning on having babies, I was not having any of that. We even paid extra to have the tree cut down and removed because of the thorns.

Now in our front yard, stand two Bradford pear trees. The one on the left is the tree we planted a few months after our son, Taylor, was born in 1994. We planted the one on the right when Bradley, our second son, was about a year and a half after we adopted him from Ukraine in 2001. We were careful to buy trees from the nursery that were the same ages as our boys. They are Taylor’s and Bradley’s trees.

Both trees are exploding with blooms right now. Today it looked like it was snowing in front of our house even though the March wind had blown all the clouds away and the sun was beaming down. Taylor’s tree starts blooming early. Bradley’s takes just a little longer.

Both are tall. Taylor’s is a man tree now. Bradley’s is still growing but catching up. Both have survived many storms, the cold of winter and intense pruning. Still they bloom. Still they grow.

I love this time of year. When I drive down the driveway, I am reminded how God has blessed our family, how He helps us deal with the thorns of life and has given us two sons that He created, that He provides for, that He watches over and that He nurtures as only He can.

Dear Lord: Thank you for the beauty of nature and how You use it to speak to us. Thank you for the blessing of family and for watching over us and providing everything that we need. This time of year, we are reminded that You make all things new. We praise You for the new life of Spring, and, most importantly, for the new life that we can only receive through Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen

 

Betrayed

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Betrayal

… So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”  John 13:27

Six years ago this April, I experienced a indescribable heartbreak—I discovered that my best friend had been embezzling from me for over twelve years.

I had trusted her with everything. I had shared my secrets with her. She had even kept my children when my husband and I had gone out of town for a date weekend. She had betrayed me, not just once but over and over and over again for years.

When I learned this dreadful secret, I was in shock. I felt angry, stupid, embarrassed, and crushed beyond anything that I can even define to you in understandable terms. I was sick with worry about my business, my family, and the future.

Sick was right. A year later, doctors hung a diagnosis of breast cancer on me, then five months later a diagnosis of melanoma. Had I been more vulnerable to the cancer because of the devastation of this deep hurt and betrayal? Only God knows. One thing I know for sure was that God worked miracles in my life by slamming these enormous storms together.

Marianne Williamson once said, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” I realized that if I continued to carry the poison of unforgiveness in my heart while carrying the poison of cancer in my body that I would almost certainly die.

Because it was all too much for me, I surrendered it to God and here’s the first miracle—I forgave her. I really did. And let me tell you that I am absolutely certain that I could not have done that on my own.

The second equally-amazing miracle is that this year I celebrate five years being free of both cancers. God’s been so good to me and it is not because of anything I have done. It is what He has done. He has healed me and brought me through the pain of betrayal.

What makes betrayal so painful? It’s that someone you love deeply who knows your character, your longings and your heart can do that to you. “Only a friend can betray a friend, a stranger has nothing to gain, and only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain.” (Michael Card, songwriter)

Jesus understands. He had spent three years with Judas—eating with him, sleeping beside him, laughing with him. Jesus had not taken the matter lightly. He had prayed all night before choosing the twelve. He knew Judas would betray Him and He would be spending every day with him for those years, and He chose him anyway. (Here’s where I stop and say that He is God and I am not. I could never do that.)

If you have been betrayed by someone you love deeply, whether it is a spouse or a child or your best friend, don’t give up. You are walking where many great people have walked. They have only been called great because they never gave up. God can take our pain and make us more useful for His greater purposes in reaching and comforting others.

The greatest act of love in the history of the world happened after Jesus’ deep betrayal by Judas. He didn’t give up, and it changed the world.

Happy Easter! Thank you for sharing your comments and sharing this post.

Dear Lord: As we reflect on Jesus’ path of love to the cross this week leading up to Easter, may we never forget His amazing sacrifice to save us of our sins. Help us to be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as You have forgiven us through Christ.  Amen

 

Legacy of Love

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LegacyBut I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands. Exodus 20:6

This past Thursday was the 8th anniversary of my mom’s death. With my dad’s recent passing the end of January, it hit me especially hard this year. Over the past few weeks, I have begun to come to terms with how it feels to be an orphan. I still have a long way to go in my journey.

Now in looking back at my parents’ lives, it is so clear to me what a legacy of love they left behind. Before my dad’s funeral, there were countless individuals that came by to share with our family about how my parents had impacted their lives.

A friend that I have not seen in many years told me how my mom had played a part in the man that he has become because of the lessons she taught him as a little kid in her Sunday School class over 40 years ago. An aide from Dad’s nursing home hugged me through tears and told me how much she loved him and what a precious man he was. Still others shared stories about working with my dad and mom at Singer in Pickens, going to church with them, being friends with them, family trips. How fun-loving my dad was. How caring my mom was. How generous they both were.

They loved deeply and were loved deeply. For all the good things people shared about them, it was even more true for me and my brother growing up at home with them. We were so blessed to be their children. Don’t get me wrong, they were not perfect, but they lived their lives on purpose for the Lord and they left behind a legacy of love.

Through the loss of my parents, I have been stirred to re-examine my own life. I know the legacy I want to leave is the life I must live now. I want my life to outlive me and for it to be a legacy of love, and I know that is only possible with God’s help. I want to be remembered as someone who loved God and loved people and who went out of her way to help others.

Winston Churchill once said, We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

We all leave a legacy. What do you want yours to be?

Please share your comments below and please share this post with your friends.

Dear Lord: Thank you for the rich legacy of love that You have left us through Your Son Jesus Christ. May we strive to be more like Him. We know that only with Your help and through loving You, loving people and doing something about it can we change the world for future generations. Tomorrow is not promised, help us live as we want to be remembered today, in a way that is pleasing to You. Amen

 

Green Eggs and Ham: Putting Off Procrastination

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Green Eggs and Ham

Have you ever had one of those times in your life when you know that God is trying to get something through your thick skull? Out of the blue, a random topic keeps springing up? Well, I have.

Last week I read Christian speaker Christine Caine’s tweet, “I’ve spent almost 30 years constantly packing and unpacking suitcases. I’ve never enjoyed it. We often have to do things we don’t like in order to get to where we need to be to do the things we do like. Do what you don’t want to do so you can do what you do want to do.”

Later that same day, I went to my accountant’s office. While there, I mentioned that, although I do accounting, I do not like it AT ALL. Debbie replied, “Yes, unfortunately, we all have to do things that we don’t like to do.” I felt a twinge of guilt because I had spent the night before getting caught up and had one issue that was left unresolved.

As I drove back from Greer pondering this theme of having to do things that I do not like, David Jeremiah came on the radio and said, “Whatever God has called you to do, He will furnish you completely with the resources to do it.” By this time, I knew what God was trying to tell me, but I did not really want to hear it.

Here is where I admit that I have spent a lot of my life tweaking perfectionism and putting off procrastination. I touched on this in my first blog earlier this year, “A New Thing”. https://sharonhawkins.net/2016/01/12/a-new-thing

For twenty years, I have owned a business that was break-neck busy and deadline driven. That is how I roll, with deadlines. Somehow it has all gotten done. Now things are changing and the deadlines are not the driving force. I am. Oh, me.

While I am a recovering perfectionist, I am not so much in the procrastinator department. When I have hard projects to accomplish (yes, I admit I like easy), other things often get in the way. Like making it perfect, focusing (one more email to answer, one more idea that I need to get on paper, something important I forgot to do, a call I need to make, a text I need to send, and yes there is the black hole of social media), excuses (taking on too much, technology not cooperating) and the fear of failure (that’s a biggie for me). Stirring this big pot of distraction is the devil. He loves defeating us through our busyness. And he often has defeated me.

Now back to my revelation. Dr. Seuss’ birthday was also last week. That same night I saw photos of people dressed as Thing 1 and Thing 2 pinned all over the internet. I was reminded of “Green Eggs and Ham”, my favorite Dr. Seuss book. The character in the book spends a great deal of time and effort avoiding Sam and his awful green eggs and ham; all the while, running into all kinds of horrific trouble. He finally just stops and tries them and finds that he LOVES them. What I realized is that if I will go ahead and eat my green eggs and ham first (the hard projects that I do not like), then I can enjoy dessert all the more (the things I love, like writing and doing ministry, spending time with family and friends and the list goes on and on).

God’s simple but undeniable message to me was that I am still a work in progress and I need to work on putting my “have tos” in front of my “I’d rathers”. With His help, I know I can do this, one choice at a time. Sometimes what it takes to jump start us is an “Aha” moment. I am praying that will work for me.

Last Fall, the Holy Spirit started tugging on my heart about being more transparent with my ministry. And the word that I set as my life theme goal for 2016 is “Relentless”. You might say those were my New Year’s resolutions. So here goes my best efforts at being transparent and relentless.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. Colossians 3:23

Gotta go … I have a “have to” that needs to get done.

Do you struggle with procrastination? Please share your thoughts in comments below.

Dear Lord: Thank you for loving me despite of my weaknesses. Help me as I prioritize to always put You first. I pray for more faith and more of Your courage and strength to help me push through the hard stuff. Knowing that if I keep my focus on You, I can take heart in pressing on because You have already overcome the world. Amen

 

5 Things I Have Learned from Being a MOB (Mother of Boys)

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Mother of Boys

He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord. Psalm 113:9 

When I was a little girl, I loved playing with dolls. Of course, they were all girls because it would have just been plain weird to play mom to a boy doll. I would dress my baby girls in frilly dresses, put bows in their hair and paint their nails with my magic markers.

One of my favorites was my Chrissy doll. You could push her belly button while tugging on her silky red hair and it would grow long down her back. She had a knob to roll her hair back up into the hole on the top of her head. It sounds morbid now, but back then I thought she was perfect. At least she was until the day I gave her a spiky Alfalfa haircut. Despite this one mishap, I was a really good mother. And I was completely content in my little perfect mommy and baby world, except for one thing—my brother.

One day I was driving all of my babies on my bed in my pretend horse-drawn wagon. We watched a lot of Daniel Boone back in those days. And being the wild savage that he was, my brother ran into my room, screaming and flailing his arms with his tomahawk and chopped each of my babies until they fell off my bed. I was devastated. There was another time that he hung my babies by clothespins on the clothesline and shot at them one by one with his bow and arrows. Ughhh, boys!

God has a sense of humor, doesn’t He? When I grew up and was able to have real babies of my own, He blessed me with not one but two of these creatures.

Taylor is our biological son, born first. I fell in love with him the second I knew he existed. Although I did not know what to do with him at first, God helped me figure it out. We were rocking right along and, when he was 3, we decided to try to have another child. After 4 years of trying to get pregnant with no success, my husband and I decided that we would adopt a second child, a little girl.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21) Taylor was praying for a little brother, so when God worked out those details, we brought home our son Bradley from Ukraine at 15 months old. We knew he was our boy and we fell in love with him the first time we met him. I was destined to be a MOB (Mother of Boys).

Instead of barbies and purses, we played legos, Lincoln logs and ball. We had about 4,000 matchbox cars around our house and lots of tractors and trains and motorcycles and bikes. What is it with boys and stuff that rolls?

After my husband, my boys are the greatest gift God could have given me. I love my boys with all of my heart, and I have learned so much being their mom.

  1. Boys need love, support, encouragement, security and admiration just as much as we girls do, even if they do not show it or need it expressed in the same way.
  2. They give really good hugs, especially when they become bigger than you.
  3. Giving them Jesus works for everything. My boys could not be more different than each other. Taylor is compassionate and Bradley is strong-willed, which means I have needed to be even more compassionate and strong-willed at times. There is only source that I could go to for this. That’s Jesus.
  4. I will never be a member of the boys club, but being the woman who is loved and gets to love these men when they are tender little ones is so special. While I did not have a princess daughter; in my little boys’ eyes, I was the princess. I received proposals from each of them when they were about 3. Pretty cool!
  5. There is no greater honor than raising a godly heritage of young men that we pray will grow to lead their own families for the Lord.  As an aside, I am thankful too that God has given me opportunities to sow into the lives of women of different ages through Grace In The Wilderness.

Hey, instead of raising girls, I am raising husbands, fathers and God-fearing men. And I could not be more fulfilled than that.

Speaking of husbands, Taylor, my 21 year old, just got engaged in January. Yes, I am finally getting a girl, and she is absolutely precious! I love you, Reid! I cannot wait!

What is your favorite thing about being a mother of boys (MOB)? Please share in comments below.

Dear Lord: Thank you for giving us the wonderful blessing of being mothers. When we need help in parenting, may we always look to You, our heavenly Father. You are the ultimate source of wisdom and grace. Amen