Covid-19 spilled into ‘20, and now here we are in ‘21. Like you, for almost a year, my husband and I have lived a sanitized life trying to avoid the virus. Well, despite all my best efforts, it landed on my doorstep. While I thought I knew what it would be like, there are some things that I have experienced while sick with covid that I wasn’t expecting.

Covid is a terrible illness that fights to take over your body. I am on Day 11 now, and I hope to be getting to the end of the quarantine time before long. I want to be done with it forever. Unfortunately, that is not the reality. Once I am out of quarantine, I will go back to wearing my mask, washing my hands, and staying 6 feet away from people. Could I get it again? They don’t really know. Could I still spread it to someone else if I am exposed again? They don’t really know. Am I better off for having had it? Probably, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. When will the vaccine be available? Will it be completely safe to take? There is much confusion, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

During the worst of it, it was a constant fight against it taking over your body. So many times I felt it taking my breathing. I would have to take strong breaths filling every part of my lungs to push it out as hard as I could, only for it to come back and try to smother me after I relaxed. I had to keep pushing it back, breathing deeply in through my nose and out through my mouth. There has been a tiredness that I cannot remember ever having before with covid. I can see how someone who has underlying health issues or who doesn’t have an iron will could lose their battle.  I know my case has been mild, and for that I am so thankful. For others who have had it more severe, my heart breaks.

The virus has affected my nerve pain illness making the nights even harder to rest because my pain is so intense. Being still and going to bed is the worst thing for my nerve pain illness. But with covid sometimes you just can’t help it, all you can do is rest in bed.

“Don’t lay flat of your back or you will “smush” your lungs. Sleep on your stomach or your side. If you sit, sit up straight.” It would be scary going to sleep thinking what if I roll over on my back and wake up so sick that I have to go to the hospital. The nurse told me not to get so sick that I have to go to the hospital because they have no more room. What if…

Take zinc, vitamin D, vitamin C. My husband and I have been taking these for months. Still it came for me. 

The emotions that I have felt during covid have been overwhelming. I have felt such guilt for getting it—guilt that I have brought it around my family. I felt guilt that I was negligent in some way, non-caring what it could do to my family. The isolation makes you feel like a leper too–contaminated. I have been waiting for my call from DHEC to explain to me how to protect the world around me from contaminating it.

There has been deep dread as I waited the days for my husband to become sick after being exposed to me. I felt worry that my in-laws would get sick because I was around them the first day I had fever. They are older and both have fragile health. My husband has been tested, and he is waiting for his results. More than enough time has passed now since all of them were exposed to me, and none of them have symptoms.  Praise the Lord! But who else was I around? What if…

The isolation is hard. I have spent very little time with my husband in person in 9 days now even though we live in the same house. I have pushed myself to walk a mile every day except one since I have been sick. On 4 of those days, Scott has walked with me. He would walk on one side of the road, and I on the other. At least the walks give us an opportunity to see each other. We also facetime inside the same house.

He spends most of the days in the basement away from me. He is working from home because he was exposed to me. I took our bedroom and our bathroom. We share the kitchen. Every time I use it, I frantically wipe everything down because I am afraid that this will be the time that he gets the virus. He sleeps in the den. I try not to be in that room at all because I know that is where he is sleeping. I don’t like to live in fear, but what I do affects him. He has type 1 diabetes, and if he gets covid, it is very bad. What if…

This sickness is definitely different than anything I have ever gotten. I feel better, then I feel worse again, and have to go back to bed. It is a roller coaster of ups and downs. 

While we have all focused on not getting this virus, there is a spiritual battle for our emotions going on all around us. If we don’t keep our eye on that and keep giving that back to God, it can definitely sneak up on us. It is as bad as the physical struggle of covid, maybe worse.

Why am I telling you this? Because covid starts with little c, and Christ starts with a Big C. There is so much uncertainty with covid, but there is certainty with God. God is bigger. He can, and He will carry us through this time of this terrible disease. There are lessons we can learn. I pray we learn them. While I have felt isolated from people, I have never been alone as the Lord has been with me every step of the way. He is giving me a better understanding of what it means to be sick with this terrible illness so that I can have more compassion for others who are dealing with it.

Through this adversity, I pray we will learn to reach out to others even more than before the pandemic. I pray that we, as His children, will emerge on the other side of this pandemic a more caring people. Is that God’s intent in the first place?

Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:4 

I know for me and my house, this will pass. Praise the Lord! The sun will come out tomorrow. For so many others, they haven’t weathered as well. Some have lost loved ones. Some are dealing with effects even weeks and months after being sick. I know it is hard. I also know that God is there, and He can and will get us through one day at a time if we look to Him.

Dear Lord: Thank You for getting me and others through this illness that so many have experienced and are experiencing now. Please touch those that are sick now and bring them healing. Please comfort those who are brokenhearted who have lost loved ones. I pray that You will take away this illness from our world. In the meantime, help us one day at a time to trust You and lean on You. You are our Hope and our Protector. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 John 1:2

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Isaiah 26:3

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14

Please share your experiences and comments to encourage our readers. Thank you for reading and sharing my blogpost today. May God bless you and keep you and your family safe and well as we journey through these days of the pandemic.