Betrayed

Betrayal

… So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”  John 13:27

Six years ago this April, I experienced a indescribable heartbreak—I discovered that my best friend had been embezzling from me for over twelve years.

I had trusted her with everything. I had shared my secrets with her. She had even kept my children when my husband and I had gone out of town for a date weekend. She had betrayed me, not just once but over and over and over again for years.

When I learned this dreadful secret, I was in shock. I felt angry, stupid, embarrassed, and crushed beyond anything that I can even define to you in understandable terms. I was sick with worry about my business, my family, and the future.

Sick was right. A year later, doctors hung a diagnosis of breast cancer on me, then five months later a diagnosis of melanoma. Had I been more vulnerable to the cancer because of the devastation of this deep hurt and betrayal? Only God knows. One thing I know for sure was that God worked miracles in my life by slamming these enormous storms together.

Marianne Williamson once said, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” I realized that if I continued to carry the poison of unforgiveness in my heart while carrying the poison of cancer in my body that I would almost certainly die.

Because it was all too much for me, I surrendered it to God and here’s the first miracle—I forgave her. I really did. And let me tell you that I am absolutely certain that I could not have done that on my own.

The second equally-amazing miracle is that this year I celebrate five years being free of both cancers. God’s been so good to me and it is not because of anything I have done. It is what He has done. He has healed me and brought me through the pain of betrayal.

What makes betrayal so painful? It’s that someone you love deeply who knows your character, your longings and your heart can do that to you. “Only a friend can betray a friend, a stranger has nothing to gain, and only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain.” (Michael Card, songwriter)

Jesus understands. He had spent three years with Judas—eating with him, sleeping beside him, laughing with him. Jesus had not taken the matter lightly. He had prayed all night before choosing the twelve. He knew Judas would betray Him and He would be spending every day with him for those years, and He chose him anyway. (Here’s where I stop and say that He is God and I am not. I could never do that.)

If you have been betrayed by someone you love deeply, whether it is a spouse or a child or your best friend, don’t give up. You are walking where many great people have walked. They have only been called great because they never gave up. God can take our pain and make us more useful for His greater purposes in reaching and comforting others.

The greatest act of love in the history of the world happened after Jesus’ deep betrayal by Judas. He didn’t give up, and it changed the world.

Happy Easter! Thank you for sharing your comments and sharing this post.

Dear Lord: As we reflect on Jesus’ path of love to the cross this week leading up to Easter, may we never forget His amazing sacrifice to save us of our sins. Help us to be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as You have forgiven us through Christ.  Amen

 

About Sharon Hawkins

Sharon Hawkins wants others to know that she is totally in love with Jesus. Through hardships, trials and blessings, she has learned that there is no end to His mercy, His grace and His faithfulness. There’s simply no better friend than Jesus. In 2008, she answered God’s calling to begin a Ministry called Grace in The Wilderness. She loves to encourage other people, and, through the Ministry’s Newsletters and Conferences, she and others are challenging women and teens to discover Christ in a new and deeper way, who they are in Him and His plan for their lives. She has been a business owner for the last twenty years. Five years ago, she learned about forgiveness at a new level with the betrayal of a close friend who embezzled from her business and was sent to prison. Sharon has experienced God’s incredible grace through adversity during breast cancer and melanoma diagnoses and multiple surgeries that have perpetuated a continuing painful nerve illness. Both cancers were stage 1 and she has now been cancer free for four years. Her cancer journey is chronicled at www.caringbridge.org/visit/sharonhawkins. Recently, she sold a large part of her business as God has prepared her to turn a page in her life and focus more on ministry. With God’s amazing provision and the support of her wonderful friends and family—husband, Scott, and sons, Taylor and Bradley, Sharon is, not only surviving her wilderness one day at a time, but finding that His grace is more than sufficient no matter what.

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