Our guest writer this week is none other than my precious daughter-in-law, Reid Hawkins. I admire her courage and willingness to share about what God is doing in her life. Here is her story:
“Anxiety. Worry. These are the things I wrestle with. I have for quite some time now. Years actually. Countless panic attacks, numerous nervous sweats, and many accounts of having shortness of breath. It all started at the end of high school when growing up became mandatory and reality set in. I have to adult.
The symptoms of my anxiety became unmanageable and I started to visit the doctor for it. The stress had affected my digestive system and I underwent a endoscopy and was diagnosed with GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease). I also was officially diagnosed with anxiety and was administered a psychiatric drug which I still take to this day.
Immediately I felt shame, embarrassment, and weak for this. A couple of years ago I felt so ashamed for having to take medication for my anxiety that I decided to abruptly quit taking it. I prayed Lord if you would just heal me from this so I don’t have to suffer.
Guess what? Abruptly quitting my medication didn’t work. It actually amplified everything and I lost 20 pounds. So I admittedly and hesitantly returned to taking the medication.
This anxiety has been the thorn in my flesh. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about a thorn in his flesh. He asks the Lord to remove it three times and prayed for healing but did not receive it. Each time he asked the Lord to remove the thorn, the Lord replied, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
I may have not been healed of my anxiety, BUT I know that it has allowed me to receive greater grace from God, a stronger character, humility, and an ability to empathize with others. God is strong in my weakness and I am thankful!
Nothing can separate us from the love of God (our spiritual condition) which is way more important than our physical condition! I have courage and hope that God’s power is displayed through my weakness. When I am weak, I am strong. My anxiety has deepened my worship, because admitting I have struggled with this affirms God’s strength!
I really hope my vulnerability and testimony encourages you today. Please know that your weakness is the perfect condition for God to be your strength. Your need for Him is a blessing. “
Dear Lord: Thank You that when we need You, You are always there, and You always know so much better than we do what we need. Help us to turn to You for strength in our weakness. When we find You are all we have, we find that You are all we need. Amen
And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Do you have a thorn in your flesh? Have you pleaded with God to remove it, and yet it is still there? Could it be He is working a bigger and better plan? Please share your thoughts, comments and experiences.
Thank you for reading and sharing our blogpost today. May God comfort you through the thorns of this life, and grow you to be that beautiful rose He plans for you to be.
Reid, Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. It is such a great reminder that God’s Grace is truly all that we ever need. May we all look at our “thorns” as God’s work to bring us closer to him and that in doing so, we receive his blessings, his grace and his power. 🙂
Thank you, Cathy! That says it all!
My pastor is doing a sermon series about “Why?” Most recent topic was “Why? Sickness.” As he cited scriptures to make various points (including 2 Cor. 12), I thought about how they apply to mental health conditions as well as physical conditions.
So true. Mental illness is a physical illness that many people overlook. I have suffered from both, and, to me, the mental was much worse. Thank you for your note, Susan!
Thank you, Angie! Never alone!
Thank you Sharon and Reid! I needed this today. It’s a day I don’t want to get up or get out and enjoy the beautiful day that God has made. Somedays I have panic attacks when I leave my room. Sometimes when I leave my house. It’s real and I too take medications but think they don’t always work. Thank you for the reminder that God’s grace is sufficient and He’s all I need. He will help me take the next step. God bless you young lady!
I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this anxiety. I know that God is holding you closely and safely in the palm of His hand, and yes, He will help you take every step. Thank you for your note! Praying for you, sweet Martha!
I am a Christian that struggles with depression, anxiety, and self hatred. Oh have I asked the Lord so many times too many times to count to remove these thorns from my life. He hasn’t. It has often made me so angry with God and has often made me question my very existence. I have found myself repeating phrases like what is the point, I don’t want to do this anymore, what kind of life is this when all I feel is pain, why do I have to go through these things, etc. People often say that suffering brings you closer to God, but I have found in my experience I have gotten more angry with him for allowing these things into my life. Even now I am struggling to understand what God is doing. The crazy thing is that no matter how angry I am with God I still find myself seeking him and wanting a relationship with him. Thank you for having the courage to share your story Reid Hawkins it really encouraged me and let me know I am not the only one out there that has suffered. I hope to have that same courage to share my story someday too.
Thank you, Kimberly! You have just shared some of your story, and I know that it will help others to be encouraged too. Keep seeking Him. The Bible says that the Lord will never leave us nor forsake us, and that He sticks closer than a brother. Praying that you feel Him arms around you, and that He will comfort you as only He can.