This time of year always brings to mind the summer of 2011 when I first faced breast cancer. Recently someone in my circle of loved ones was diagnosed with breast cancer. Please pray for Tammy as she begins this new journey that the Lord would hold her and her family closely, guide the doctors, and bring her a rapid and complete recovery. With her diagnosis, my mind has been flooded with thoughts about that time in my life, and how God showed up and showed out. I found an article from that period and felt led to update it and share it today. Hope it encourages someone.

On June 8, 2011, I received news that every woman dreads—breast cancer. My mother received this same “knock-the-breath-out-of-you” news in December of 2004, just three years and four months before she died from breast and colon cancer. I HATE CANCER!!!

Mom wasn’t the only one with breast cancer in my family. Counting aunts and cousins, there have been five of us on Mom’s side of the family, and three of us on Dad’s side of the family, to receive this dreadful sentence—breast cancer. So, after doctors’ visits, much prayer, tears and gnashing of teeth, my husband and I began the journey of accepting that I was going to lose my breasts in this fight to save my life.

I was overwhelmed by how this rattled me at the core of my existence. Fear gripped me at my most tender places, where I’m a wife, a mother, a woman. Could my husband ever find me attractive again? How could I bear to not feel my children as before when I hugged them close to me? Would I overcome the feeling that I was going to be less of a woman? These questions all tormented me one night just a week before my surgery.

The Peace.

Then God’s grace and peace fell on me that night as I slept, like sweet dew kissing a tender, wilting daisy. When I opened my eyes in the morning, I knew He had answered my prayers. It was as though the decision had been made the night before and I knew what I was supposed to do—bilateral mastectomies with reconstruction. From that point on, I had no fear, no worry. I knew He was going to see me through. He was taking me into a new adventure, one that would change my life forever for my good and for His glory!

So on July 5, the morning of my surgery, I ran out to meet my Goliath, like little David. God’s grace was amazing, there is nothing like being in the center of His perfect will for your life. Peace is not the absence of the storm, it’s the presence of Jesus in the storm. I had no doubts that His grace was enough as I kissed the tears off my husband’s and son’s faces that day as they left my room for the long wait down the hall. While they couldn’t go with me, God Himself was going into battle with me.

The Provision.

Seven hours of surgery later and after a while in recovery, I woke up in severe pain, but nonetheless to victory. God had brought me through surgery, it had gone well and the best part, my lymph nodes were cancer free. Although cancer had taken my mother, I was sure that this Goliath was going to be defeated in my case. Praise God!

A week later, the pathology report revealed that, in addition to the 1.8 cm tumor in my right breast, there was something in my left. It was a red flag, a precursor to cancer in the left breast, something to watch (except we wouldn’t have known it was there to watch). My God knew in advance what was best for me, and He led me that way. Praise God!

At three weeks out, I learned that the Oncotype tumor genetic testing revealed a score of 11 on a 1-50 scale. The nurse told me it was a very low score and most probably indicated no chemotherapy would be needed. This was confirmed at my oncologist visit on August 10—no chemo, no radiation needed. Woohoo! Praise God!

This Goliath came knocking on my door, but all along this was the Lord’s battle. It’s not been easy! I’ve since been through two more breast reconstruction surgeries and a surprise melanoma diagnosis and in-office surgery (another Goliath) that happened over those next 5 months in 2011. But seven years later, I am still cancer-free. Praise God!

I now live with a nerve pain illness that I deal with daily. I’m still recovering. Because of the pain illness, I could not have my final reconstruction surgery. I have had periods where my pain has improved. I am doing better right now, and claiming that it will stay that way. Praise God!

The Promise.

I am amazed but not surprised by what God has done through this trial in my life. He is faithful and keeps His promises. The Lord still works miracles today, and He continues to do a work in my life. At times I grow weary from the pain, but I still have that same gift He gave me that night in the midst of this battle—No Fear! That’s because He is there with me and is fighting for me. I know He is, I feel Him!!!

Cancer, (1 Timothy 17:45 paraphrase) You came against me with sickness, dread and despair, but I came against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of His children, including my mother and precious others whom you have defied. With both my cancers, the LORD handed you over to me, struck you down and cut off your sources of torment in my body. Through this, all those around me see that there is a BIG GOD in my life. Through this, they can know that it is not the surgeon’s knife or medicine that saves, but God. The battle is the LORD’s. He took you down and gave me victory over you!

Sometimes you’ve just got to step back, be still and let Him be your God! This was one of those times in my life. This battle came for a reason and I will never be the same! My earnest prayer is that I will continue to grow to have more of God in my heart than I do of me!

In the midst of all this, my Pastor sent me a quote by Tony Evans—“Sometimes we face a bigger Goliath so we can know an even BIGGER GOD!!” I’d say that’s exactly right!! Praise my BIG, BIG GOD!! I know now if another Goliath ever comes knocking on my door, I’ll ask my BIG, BIG God to answer it.

Dear Lord: Thank you for getting us through the hardest of trials, and that You are still in the miracle working business. Help us to remember that the battle is yours, and to not try to fight it all on our own. I am so thankful that cancer starts with a little c, and Christ starts with a Big C. You are the Great Physician. Please touch and bless those who are dealing with cancer today. Amen

Thank you for reading and sharing my blogpost today. May we always look to God to bring us safely through our battles with Goliath.