Light years ago, in another lifetime, I was a different person. I was a young wife whose marriage was in trouble. Oh, we were in church, and, on the surface it appeared we were doing all the right things. But behind closed doors, our life was very different. I was miserable. I spent many nights pleading with God  to save my marriage. Still it failed. God did not answer my prayer like I wanted Him to. And for a number of years, I was so mad at God that I walked away from Him.

Then one day I woke up, and I had a wonderful new family—complete with a new husband who loved me more than anything, and we had a beautiful little baby boy. Humbly I realized, “Hey, God, you were faithful to me even when I wasn’t faithful to you.” My husband and I started going to church and committed our lives to Him, and God blessed our new little family more than I can say.

When our little boy was 3, we started praying for another child. For 4 years, we tried to have another child but it was not to be. God did not answer my prayer like I wanted Him to. Month after month, year after year my heart was broken.

Then God led us to adopt our little boy Bradley from Ukraine when Taylor was 7 years old. I prayed for Bradley to grow in love with us and be happy and healthy. God did not answer my prayer like I wanted Him to. Today we still struggle to overcome some of those difficulties from the meager beginnings of his life in the orphanage.

Five years ago, I had a biopsy, and I begged God that it would not be cancer. God did not answer my prayer like I wanted Him to. It was cancer. I had double mastectomies and several painful surgeries.

Praise God they got all the cancer! But after the surgeries were over, my pain did not go away. I prayed and asked God to heal me. God did not answer me like I wanted Him to. After 5 years, I still suffer with nerve pain every day.

Through these years, He has answered so many prayers giving me the things that I have asked for. But often things have turned out very differently than I had planned, than I had prayed for. Still other things I have prayed for, for a long time, He has not granted YET. I am not giving up.

I am sure that the reasons that God has not answered some of my prayers the way that I wanted Him to have varied. He gives us and others free will. He is working a bigger and better plan. Sometimes I bring the hardships on myself. He is growing me in the wilderness places in my life. He is comforting me through the hard times so I can comfort someone else. Maybe at times I am not praying in accordance with His will. He might be protecting me from less than His best. Maybe I am not trusting enough. The reasons why are a list of endless possibilities. He knows best.

These days I do not get mad at Him like I used to when He does not answer my prayers the way I want Him to. I have learned to trust that His ways are higher than mine. He sees it all and He knows it all and He loves me so much. I know that He will take care of me no matter what comes. I can rest easier in His grace. My faith has grown through the impossible things He has brought me through in my life. My record for getting through the hard times is 100% so far, and that is all because of Him. So no matter what, still I will pray. And I will trust Him, even when He doesn’t answer my prayers like I want Him to. The greatest gifts are not always what we ask for anyway.

Dear Lord: Thank You that Your plans for us are better than our dreams. If we planned out every detail of my life, it would pale in comparison to all that You have planned for us. Thank You for Your blessings, including those that we did not know that we needed. We do not have to understand it all, help us just to trust You. Amen

The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. (Lam. 3:25)

Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:2

From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

Have there been things in your life that have turned out quite differently than you had prayed for? Can you see the hand of God in it now as you look back? Please share your thoughts, comments and experiences.

Thank you for reading and sharing my blogpost. May God always work His good and perfect will in your life and in the lives of your family. He loves you so much!