Every year as October approaches, Breast Cancer Awareness Month reminds of my battle with this terrible disease—one I still fight today.

I don’t like to think of myself as a vain woman, but the truth of the matter is I have struggled majorly with body issues since my breast cancer battle in 2011. It is not what you might think. I have not been striving for perfection, just to not feel like a monster. Due to my nerve pain illness, I was never able to finish my reconstruction surgeries from my double mastectomies. It is something that has affected me very deeply, to my core, over the last five years.

According to sources, I am far from alone in this struggle. Many women suffer with self-esteem and body issues after their surgeries from breast cancer.

After all this time, God has been leading me that it was time to work on it. So, reluctantly, several weeks ago I went to see my Christian counselor about this. With her help, my perception is changing. I am learning to love my body again, to embrace my scars not as ugly but as different. I am different now.

Different is good, and different is beautiful. My scars remind me that I survived the breast cancer that tried to kill me. The marks serve as reminders of the terrible wounding I experienced and the miraculous healing that God brought to my body. They draw a line between my past with the disease and my glorious new future without it.

The wounding has changed me. When meeting cancer face to face, you realize just how fragile life is. It changes your priorities. I live my life differently now, living every day more fully, trying harder to make sure that those I love know it every day. There is no question that my wounds have given me the ability to love deeper. I have a deeper compassion too for other women who are wounded, who face trials, who need help.

I found that help in my life, and I want to share it. His name is Jesus. When I was at the bottom, He was there with me. He brought healing to my soul by dying on the cross for me. He has brought healing to my heart and my body during the hardest times of my life. He has carried me through one day at a time. He still does.

Recently, my friend told me about his friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago. She opted for a lumpectomy instead of a mastectomy. She passed away this July when the cancer came back. I am so sorry for her horrific struggle and for her family’s loss.

That could have been me. Gratefully, I look back at the cruise my husband and I went on in July to celebrate my five years cancer free. That could have been so different. I am so blessed, and I never want to take the precious gift of life and healing for granted.

When we go through trials, sometimes we are left feeling broken, damaged, less than we were before. Sometimes the on-going pain of it will never let us forget this, even for a second. It is a common misconception that once we become a Christian that our life gets easier. The Lord never promised us that it would be easy, but He did promise that He would never leave us nor forsake us.

Jesus understands all about our suffering. We share our scars in common with Him. Just as He overcame His scars and was resurrected to everlasting life, He wants to work a miracle in our lives too—one that is for our good and for His glory. He comforts us so that we can comfort others. He helps us so that we can help someone else.

Through our brokenness, God can create a beautiful masterpiece of His faithfulness and unfailing promises. He brings us through the fire one day at a time, so that others will see and know what a magnificent Savior we have. We give Him our ashes, He turns them into beauty. He makes us different, and that is beautiful.

Dear Lord: Thank you that we don’t have to face our trials alone, that You are working a beautiful plan in our lives always and You are always there to help us. Let us find the beauty in our struggles and the comfort and strength to take those precious nuggets and share them with others who are hurting. Please help all of those who are reading this with their struggles today. Thank You for the healing that is ours through Your Son Jesus Christ. Amen

But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 1 Corinthians 1:3-4

Are you in a trial right now struggling just to make it through? Please know that God is there to help you one day at a time.

Has He brought you through a heartache that you never thought you could make it through? If so, please look for opportunities to share these blessings with someone else today who needs to hear the encouragement that only you can give. It might make all the difference in the world to them.

Thank you for reading and sharing my blogpost. Please share your comments, thoughts and experiences by replying below. May God bless you always with beauty from the ashes in your life!