I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. John 14:18
This place is strangely familiar. I hate it with a passion. I do not want to be here.
Grief is an ocean of collosal waves. And just because I have head knowledge and heart knowledge of them, does not mean that I have any power to escape. I am submerged again.
I just lost someone I love so deeply, my dad. And I am a Daddy’s girl.
I learned the hard way from when my mom went to be with Jesus eight years ago that, if I know what is good for me, I will try my best to roll with these monster waves. I am powerless to fight them anyway.
One minute I find myself treading water, managing, though with great difficulty, to get by. The next, I am swallowed up by a crippling current of tears and anguish, completely engulfed by a suffocating, vast, deep darkness that draws me downward with incredible force.
In the beginning, these waves of grief are enormous and close together and crash over me without mercy. I cannot even catch my breath. I know in time that, although the waves will come less frequently, they will still come and overtake me.
While I know about the grief of losing my parents, lasting comfort is not found in what I know. It is found in Who I know.
Through His son Jesus Christ, God made a way for me to be reunited with my loved ones one day. He has promised to never leave me (Joshua 1:5, Hebrews 13:5). He is committed to making even the worst moments in my life result in good (Romans 8:28-38). And He will give me everything I need to face whatever I encounter in this fallen world (2 Peter 1:3) … even death and these collosal waves.
Dear Lord: Thank you that even death does not separate us from Your love through Christ Jesus. One day You will dry all our tears. But for today, please hold me while I cry. Amen
God is always with us in the storm, and the more fierce the storm, the closer his presence. Ours is to be present in the moment, knowing that God is holding us above the wave.
Thank you, Cathy! God has been so faithful and is carrying me even when the waves overtake me. With His help, I know I will always come out on the other side. You are such a blessing and encouragement to me.
Although I have no idea the pain of losing a parent, I well know the feeling of that colossal wave. One day dear friend, the pain of losing someone we love will be completely forgotten as we are reunited for all eternity. Oh what a day!!!
Marie: You are so right! Oh that will be a joyous day! In the meantime, may we be comforted to know that they are more alive than they have ever been and celebrating in Heaven with our Savior.
Sharon thank you for your encouraging words. I have been unable to accept God’s plan for one that I love so. I pray for acceptance, for my head knows that God and only God is in control, but my heart aches with such force that I feel I will drown in my grief. The pain is great so I continue to pray for God to wrap me in his arms and show me that I must accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Please pray for me as I pray for you. Love you my dear friend.
Oh, Judy, I am so so sorry! I will pray for you and for your loved one. The pain is more than we feel we can bear at times, crushing in fact, but I know our God is able to help us through anything. May God grant His peace and comfort and love that passes all understanding for you and your family. Thank you for your prayers for me too. I love you, dear friend!